KIKI

Today is the last day of November.
Last night i dreamed about something uncommon, something that very clear, something that made me cry, made my shocked, made my heart broke, i don't how to say, how it's hurt. It was about him. In my dream, it was about after school. He didn't tell where he went until i knew he was going to play futsal with his friends. I didn't know from who i knew that news. Then i went to futsal field by Dea's car, Dea drove me there. I took the elevator, when i arrived there, i saw him. I saw him, sitting next to a girl. I didn't know who is that girl. Someone told me, her name is KIKI. Someone told me that he is close with this girl. He never told me, unless he was lying, again. I asked him:
Me : "Who is that girl?"
Him : "She is KIKI "
Me : "What is your connection with her?"
he didn't answer me. Someone told me, they are close, they love each other. I didn't believe it. I met KIKI after school for the next day, I called her and him. I asked them :
Me : "Did you guys BBMing?"
Him : "Yes, we did"
why why why? Why he never told me about that, why?????? It's hurt! I asked him whether they ever went out together or not and he answered me EVER. What the hell was going on? Why he didn't explain it to me, why he didn't say the truth until i knew everything? He explained to me after that, he explained everything, but everything was happened. What else i could do? Watching you guys together while i am half-dead? One thing that i couldn't stand, one thing that i couldn't accept, HE ASKED MY PERMISSION TO GIVE HIM TIME TO DATE WITH THAT GIRL. How would you feel? Smile? Smiling because watching the one happy with someone else? or cry?

WHO THE HELL IS THAT GIRL? Is the girl named KIKI exist in my school? Tell me.

Indeed it was only a dream, but I'm still scared, It's hurt. It's hurt until i cried, i can't tell how the pain is. I'm afraid it will come true. I'm afraid of losing you. What else if its true? If it's true, please bring me to Entrance, let me drunk until die, until i can't feel the pain anymore.

One thing i've learned from that dream is that NOTHING LAST FOREVER even LOVE.

xx